The things I miss on the outside
Today I woke up thinking about what to write. “How can I inspire people?” I thought. While I sat there thinking hard, I realized that not every blog post has to be insightful and not every thing needs to have special meaning. So maybe today I will just write about myself and some of what goes through my head these days.
I’ve never been one to worry about the reason I am on this planet, I usually tend to just let the world carry me like a leaf in the wind. The truth is that’s probably why I am in jail and headed to prison, or one of the contributing reasons.
I find myself wondering sometimes, if I would have planned my life a little better would things have come out any better at this point? I really don’t know and don’t expect to know and this is exactly why I don’t like to think about these things. A “possibility war” starts to break out in my head.
Things I do know for sure is that I miss the sun, and so many of the simple things I took for granted a few months ago. A slow drive down River Road on a nice day. The sound of the river while sitting on the bank on a moonlit night. The way my dog loves me and is always happy to see me, no matter what. Or the sun setting on the lake late in the day.
Saying that I think of a song Jason Boland sings. He says “No matter how big the storms… the sun is shining somewhere down in Texas.”
I feel that right now I am in a storm in Texas. A lot of us are, those of us inside and outside too. I gotta work hard to get to that sun, but if I manage that, then soon I’ll see “The rays of light … makin’ me wanna turn the key and put down the throttle and get lost down 35.”
Peace be with you all ~ Magnum
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I like that you write and share…thanks.
I got a comment about this part of your blog…
“I find myself wondering sometimes, if I would have planned my life a little better would things have come out any better at this point? I really don’t know and don’t expect to know and this is exactly why I don’t like to think about these things. A “possibility war†starts to break out in my head.”
I have done the same 1,000 times. Wondering what life would be now if i have done different divisions or planned better… the truthis I always reach the same conclusion. There is only one plan and that is god’s plan. Do not want to sound religious or preachy but if one stays on the good side, and become a good person then eventually good things will happen. It’s normal to hesitate, to wonder, to be at war with one self. In the bible MOST if not ALL the people that now are apostles or have been at the service of GOD, always wonder and ask questions about their believes and also why them and why are they where they are. ( sometimes not in good places like you right now ) BUT it all will make sense later. I can tell that you are an honest person and that you are in a path of self discovery like I am too. It’s going to be fine. It always is and finding internal peace… well…that is what we all want and it takes time. Good luck and know that we are all in the same boat regardless if we are in a prison of bars of in a prison of circumstances. Thanks.
It’s so good to hear from you, Magnum! You’re right, you don’t have to be overly insightful with every post. All you have to be is HONEST.
What do you think about? How do you feel? Did you eat today? Do you have any “friends”? Are you getting any exercise? Do you have any projects going in the hobby shop? Tell us about YOU!