A dream with a message for me
My last post I wrote was about being in here with a man who is accused of the murder of a friend of mine. Well, it has caused me some stress. And, last night I had a dream with my dead friend in it! And, it was all wrapped up in drug and alcohol use. I am going to call my friend “Red” for this post, and tell you about the dream. I would like to know what you all make of it. It was REALLY strange because him and I were probably more technically acquaintances than close friends, and I sure have never dreamed about him before. And this dream was one of those dreams that are so realistic that it feels just like reality until you wake up and realize it wasn’t.
So, in my dream, Red and I were hanging out, but I was using cocaine and alcohol, and Red wasn’t doing any of that.
At one point in the dream we were in a car and he was driving, I kept asking him how long we were going to be gone because I wanted to get back so I could keep drinking. And then, we got to a restaurant. Red’s cousin was there and Red ordered his cousin a whole case of beer, but Red and I weren’t drinking! I was so mad at Red and said to him, “WTF, Red! Aren’t WE going to drink?”
At that moment, Red looked over at me and he smiled, the sort of smile like he knew something so deep that I didn’t know, and like he sort of felt sorry for me for not knowing, but like he understood me not knowing too, like he had insider knowledge of something profound.
The whole time, he was so pleasant and happy. Much more so than I ever remembered him to be in real life. And, he had an aura of peacefulness surrounding him.
Then, a show started at the restaurant, people were dancing on stage with big snakes. It made me feel frightened. But still, Red seemed peaceful and happy and unaffected by the scary show.
I woke up then, and I felt really good, and even better about the situation here in jail. It was if I couldn’t feel so much anger at Red’s accused murderer because Red himself seemed so much happier and peaceful now.
This dream seems full of meaning to me. I honestly almost feel that Red came to visit me and give me a message. I wonder what any of you feel this dream could mean?
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Hi Magnum. I have had similar dreams during recovery, where I’m using in the dream but there is a different type of “euphoria” that is present. I wake up and am always grateful that I’m still clean. It’s like in the dream, I’m high but totally present and not really enjoying being high.
I take these dreams as good signs of progress…a way that my mind is working out what it means to be without drugs. It’s really nice KNOWING that there is another way to feel good…and these dreams help me feel from the inside-out that I’m on the path towards getting closer to God and love.
Hi Texas Magnum!
The best person to figure out the meaning of your dream is, well, YOU! Since you are intelligent and very good at introspection, I, with your permission, would like to make a suggestion: Some theorists have said that every person, animal and thing in our dreams are us or part of us. Just for fun, be the snake, and write down what the snake feels, see, does, wants and says. Do this with Red, Red’s cousin, and yes, the case of beer. As for you choosing Red as the nick name for your friend who died. The friend might have been red-haired or what comes to MY mind is that red is the color of blood and blood signifying life and when spilled also death. Red is also the color associated with love (Valentine’s red) and anger (one gets red in the face with rage, for instance). Red is a “hot” color.
Ah! The snake symbol has dual meaning, it can mean betrayal, danger, deceit, seduction and renewal; rebirth (snakes shed their skins, thus getting a new coat). Could their meaning be of a new lease on life?
If you wish, you can take those associations and see what you can come up with in relation to your dream, situation and/or your immediate present journey. It would make for an interesting blog. You write very well. I noticed that you mom does, too. I guess sometimes the “the apple does not fall far from the tree” quote is true. Be strong and stay safe. Good writings!
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Hey Magnum,
My opinion is, no matter what you may be thinking this means, your brain is just trying to cope and sort out this whole mess.
Who am I to say though? No one really knows what happens when you die and if energies can keep on in other forms. My feeling is though, it is just a dream.
I lost a person very close to me and had guilt feelings because there was something she asked me to help her with (a car). If I had helped her, she would still be here today. She died because of booze and behind the wheel of a friends car, maybe there was nothing I could have done. But the dreams started coming. They were some of the most realistic dreams I ever had and I was horrified. After they finally stopped, I realized it was my way of sorting out the pain.
I hope you are steering clear of that bastard that allegedly offed him.
Hang in there Bud, we are all with you.
OW
I agree with the editor. I also agree with you Magnum, that this does have meaning. Its odd that you would use the nickname of Red. A good family friend died a few years back whom we called Red. He was involved with drugs and the wrong type of people. His death has always been a mystery. It was ruled a suicide but we have reason to believe it was not the case. Red came to us in many ways after his death and always in a calm and peaceful way. My feeling is that he is letting you know he is ok and he wants you to focus on your sobriety rather than a wrong that was done to him. He is letting you know that this peace can be yours as well. Keep reaching for it. Let karma take care of this other person. Its not your battle to fight. He is painting his own destiny in a color far different from yours and Reds. Let it be. Thank Red for bringing you that peace and allow yourself to feel it.
Kathy
I find it interesting that this post talks about being frightened by a show featuring people dancing with snakes, and that Texas Magnum has another post under Poetry named Venomous. In the poem, his heroin addiction takes the form of a poisonous snake.
I don’t think this is coincidence!