Category: Reflections

When a Recovering Addict and Ex-Con Needs Medical Help

Posted on May 23, 2017September 16, 2018 by Texas Magnum

I have been sick lately. It turns out I have Chronic Neurological Lyme disease that is raising all kinds of hell with me. I have been really pretty damn sick with this, and I have been in pain and stressed out. I have made the rounds to quite a few doctors and I have made a grim discovery. When you are a person that looks a certain way, when you are a person who has a certain history, when you are a person who is open and forthright with doctors about things you have experienced in life – you are

4 Years After Prison, I Reached a Milestone

Posted on October 3, 2016October 3, 2016 by Texas Magnum

Well, y’all, I have officially reached a milestone of sorts. I have now been OUT of trouble… that means living fine, working hard, and loving life in general… longer than I have been IN trouble, as an adult at least. I guess this is sort of a skewed way of looking at it, because I am counting the time since I got locked up, rather than since I got let free. That is because, for me, locking me up is what got me on the right path. So since that day they closed the cell door and I knew I

A Mom’s Side of the Prison Journey – by Rose, Guest Blogger

Posted on July 3, 2016September 16, 2018 by Texas Magnum

Ive always been a fixer…fix the issues that my kids came up against. But then there was an issue I could no longer fix or control. All I could do is watch from the side lines. My son, my youngest, my baby was sentenced to 2 years TDCJ and 6 months State Jail. Oh the naivety when you know nothing of TDCJ. The day that the deal was struck and our lawyer assured us that he would be out in six months, the only reason he wouldn’t be is if TDCJ suddenly built new prisons to help with overcrowding. So

Just like in prison – To divide is to conquer.

Posted on June 18, 2016June 20, 2016 by Texas Magnum

With all the hate going on in the world, it can be hard to keep a good outlook and positive attitude. In prison it was much the same way – the overall feeling of hate and disrespect and ongoing oppression could get to you if you weren’t careful. You had to stay mindful to keep your head in the right place, and not let the hate become part of who you were. You had to choose to rise above it on a daily basis. If you ask me, this hateful attitude everyone is carrying around is turning our country into

Ma, you did the time too

Posted on January 29, 2016January 29, 2016 by Texas Magnum

I was reflecting on some of the site regulars, and how in general they were mothers, wives and girlfriends. There are some fathers, and siblings, and a few children of those incarcerated. And there are comments from those who have done time, or worked in corrections, and folks with addiction problems. But most of who visits here are the women left behind – the mothers, wives and girlfriends. When I got locked up I had a lot of emotions to deal with. I was angry, first and foremost. And I had some fear, naturally. I also had a lot of

4th of July, 2015 – Can you find freedom while in prison?

Posted on July 3, 2015July 9, 2015 by Texas Magnum

For those of you with family and loved ones in prison on this 4th of July holiday weekend, especially those imprisoned for crimes of drug use, I will tell you this – freedom is a state of mind. A person can be more free while incarcerated than they ever were on the outside. When I was going through real bad times with drug use I was not free. Sure, maybe I could jump in my truck and drive to a party on the 4th, drink some beer and eat some barbecue and that is so-called freedom, compared to being locked

Going back to prison…

Posted on April 17, 2015May 11, 2015 by Texas Magnum

A guy I know, who I met and came to consider a friend while I was in TDC, got out a couple months before me. He is currently sitting in jail, on quite a few charges ranging from DUI to breaking and entering a habitation with a weapon and with intent to commit a felony – that is a bad one, for those who don’t know. He has been in jail for over a year now, and he was just sentenced this week, to go back to prison. The sentence is for 25 years and he will have to do

Willacy County prison where recent riot was loses contract and closes

Posted on March 18, 2015April 8, 2015 by Texas Magnum

The company that runs the Federal prison facility that was recently the site of a prison riot has lost its contract. The company, Management & Training Corp. out of Utah, has stated that the reason for the contract cancellation is that the inmate population has dropped and there is not a need for that federal facility. Also, they are looking for a new client for that facility. I have no idea who they will find to contract with, but that facility has beds for around 3000 inmates so certainly that would be far too much space for a county jail

Prison Bus Crash in Texas results in 10 Dead

Posted on January 15, 2015April 11, 2015 by Texas Magnum

Yesterday, there was a terrible accident out west of Odessa. A prison bus with 12 inmates and 3 correctional officers went off an overpass and fell onto train tracks. It was then hit by a train. Of the 15 people in the bus, 10 are dead and 4 are in critical condition in the hospital. 8 of the 10 dead are inmates, 2 are correctional officers. The details of the wreck are still being investigated and much is not known, but I pray that the time from when the bus went over to when the train collided with it was

Christmas in prison – a time for reflection

Posted on December 23, 2014April 8, 2015 by Texas Magnum

The holidays can be some of the toughest time for prison inmates and their families and loved ones. An inmate can feel incredibly alone and sad being in prison during Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and New Years. It’s a time we associate with family and the reality of being locked up can hit hard. It’s a time when mothers and fathers cry for their sons and daughters, and wives and husbands yearn for the touch of their mate. As a former inmate, I can tell you there were bright spots to the holidays. For one, the inmates tend to have

Short Timer Here

Posted on March 2, 2014March 2, 2014 by Texas Magnum

I feel like I am a short timer on my parole these days. I can see that light at the end of the tunnel. Can’t wait. it will be the first time in 7 years that I am not either locked up or on paper. My choices will be mine. Nobody looking over my shoulder. Just got to mind my business for another couple of months. I can do it, that’s not a problem at all. I don’t want to put the cart before the horse, but I can’t help but start to feel anxious for this all to be

Felons – Reality vs. Fiction

Posted on January 14, 2014January 14, 2014 by Texas Magnum

Hey everyone. Sometimes I catch something on television or see something online about prison or prisoners, and I have to laugh at the stereotypes that persist about us felons. Today I saw a thing on the internet news about a recently released prisoner coming to the rescue of a little girl that had fallen into a septic tank and was drowning. Now that is cool whether the guy is an ex-con or not. But what is troubling is that this was reported under “Odd News”. Like, it’s ODD that a man who has a record would help someone. Here is

We refuse to abandon our loved ones

Posted on December 5, 2012May 11, 2015 by Texas Magnum

Passed on by a friend today: “We are tired of being made to feel inferior or unwelcome in churches, clubs, organizations or society in general simply because we refuse to abandon our loved ones…………” We are everywhere– For those who forget that the incarcerated humans in this country are indeed just that – HUMAN – I would like you to think on this the next time you talk about “inmates, criminals, convicts, etc…”. These humans have families and those who love them despite whatever they did. Look around you and wonder, because this is who we are…. We take care

Changes in my life, changes for this site

Posted on September 12, 2012 by Texas Magnum

While I was locked up I spent a lot of time dreaming about being on a river in Central Texas, listening to music, playing my guitar or harmonica, singing, and just having a good ol’ time. I have done just that as often as possible this summer. I want to share a song I really enjoy, by Jason Boland, called Backslider Blues. Fantastic lyrics on this one. Friends, I have really slacked off when it comes to writing blog posts. I had already known that once I got out, the site was going to need to change it’s direction, because

I have served my time and I am going home!

Posted on February 28, 2012February 28, 2012 by Texas Magnum

This is the post I have been waiting for all along. By the time it is received in the regular mail and posted on here, it will just about be real. I AM GOING HOME! I AM GOING HOME! I – AM – GOING – HOME!!! I am so ready, I can’t wait. Time is crawling now but it’s OK, it’s almost here. Just 10 days to go. I can’t wait to look up at the sunshine, to breath in the fresh air. I can’t wait for a pizza! I am damn excited and happy to go home and see

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts

Posted on December 3, 2011December 4, 2011 by Texas Magnum

Hello all. I recently read an awesome book that I would like to tell you about in today’s post. A guy in here recommended it, and loaned it to me. It is long, close to 1000 pages, and it is intense. It is written based on truth, about the author’s own life, and it is an amazing story. Considering that I don’t really have any news of interest to tell you about, let alone an amazing story about myself, I think it will make an excellent subject to change things up a little. The story is about a heroin addict

Is that light at the end of the tunnel?

Posted on November 9, 2011November 13, 2011 by Texas Magnum

I am tired. Tired of being here, tired of the classes I am in, tired of the work I do and mostly REALLY tired of this dorm I live in. I am tired of the loud mouths and the bad attitudes. I am tired of the CO’s and tired of the other inmates. I am tired of writing letters to family because there really isn’t any news to talk about with them anymore. I am tired of drinking coffee that tastes like rusty nails. I am tired of having to strip down for every little thing and I am tired

400 days and counting in prison

Posted on September 4, 2011September 4, 2011 by Texas Magnum

I realized the other day that the last day of August marked 400 days of incarceration for Texas Magnum. 400 days out of a maximum of 1460 that could be spent as a prisoner in Texas. Magnum is hopeful he will be released well before the maximum sentence date, and at this point, it is likely that he will be. He has committed to himself to make the most of his time of incarceration and has been actively working on improving himself mentally, spiritually and physically. He feels good, is full of positive energy, and is seeing a light at

Missing out on life

Posted on March 7, 2011March 7, 2011 by Texas Magnum

After being incarcerated for the last seven months, I have learned the truth about what being locked up and the loss of freedom means to a man. Before all this happened, losing my freedom meant something completely different to me than what it does now. I thought losing my freedom meant not being able to come and go as I wanted, not being able to sleep in when I wanted, stay out late when I wanted and to do what I wanted. I thought it meant not having a corrections officer telling me where to go or not go, and

Resolutions for the new year

Posted on January 12, 2011March 16, 2011 by Texas Magnum

As the new year comes, so do new beginnings. For many people goals are made, and promises sworn to be kept to a spouse or to one’s self. “This year it will be different. I will lose that weight”, or “I’ll cut down on the booze” or “I’ll never cheat on my wife again.” All these dreams and desires to renew and improve ourselves rush through our dreams and our hearts each year. This is the type of thing that amazes me about humans, we have the capacity to want something with our entire heart and soul, until it hurts